Can't We All Just Get Along?

As I'm writing this, I'm ending my mini-sabbatical.  Oh, you didn't know that I was on a sabbatical?  That's because I have figure reviews done until the beginning of March and the articles done until, well now, I suppose.  I just needed some time to recharge the batteries, so to speak.  In that time, I've been playing a lot of Lego Marvel Superheroes, and just kinda staying away.  I checked the blog to follow-up on any comments that anyone may have posted, but that was about it.  I just needed some time to reflect, I suppose; I didn't write anything during my time away, which I really need to since I still have a bunch of figures to get through.  Anyway, during this time a very interesting thing happened on one of the Facebook groups that I'm a member of and it brought me back in form the cold.

Pic courtesy of Abbie G.

This proved to be an extremely popular post on the Facebook group, and pretty much for the reasons that I'm sure those that read this blog are thinking - it's a female Transformer collector!  The comments were all over the place.  Some were commenting on her collection, others about the fact that she was a female collector and they couldn't get over that fact.  I found the premise of the picture amusing, but I was more intrigued by the ginormous collection behind her.  Which brings me to a point, and I'm sorry if this I stray while making my point, but bear with me.

I got intrigued by the comments from the above picture and it got me thinking about women in the Transformer fandom and in general "geek" culture.  I decided to contact Abbie on Facebook to ask her a few questions.  First off, she's had a lot of G1 figures as a kid, but started all over again about ten years ago.  During that time, she's amassed over 3000 figures!  That's something like 8 times the figures that I have!  No matter how you slice it, that's a hardcore collector.

When I asked her if she was expecting the reaction that she got, she told me that "Being in a male dominated world of transformers, it was apparent that it would happen - the pick up lines, the few side messaging.  I took no offense to any remarks, so no harm was done. So you can say I went in with an open mind."  That to me is disappointing.  Shouldn't anyone wanting to talk about Transformers or posting a picture be able to just do that without having to deal with that?  

My version of the pic.  My room is a mess

On that topic, Abbie felt that she's "had nothing but compliments and that feels great.  But...I know that day will come when I'll get some hate mail and I'm okay with that.  But to be completely honest, when I made my first post, I was nervous and thought I would get negative feed back right away. But it all worked out and that makes me a happy camper."  Which is good, and I'm glad that she's had a good experience.  She's also stated that "I have great conversations with other tf collectors. We can talk for hours on end and never get bored. Now I have had a small percentage of people to start out with tf talk then turn fast towards sexual talk. And then that's where I draw the line. They tend to forget we're in a tf page and assume we're in a dating site."  Why is there this expectation that just because she's a woman and into Transformers, that she wants to talk to other collectors about anything other than that?  Would these same guys approach another woman and start into sexual talk so quickly?  Or is it because a woman in into the same thing (Transformers, Masters Of the Universe, Star Wars, whatever) as the guy she's talking to, then she's fair game?

I talked about this with my best friend, Kelly, who has worked for DragonCon (yes, the infamous one) in Atlanta for the last few years doing publicity.  I figured that she would have some stories or insight into this.  One thing she told me was that from her experience, when guys at DragonCon see a woman that identifies as geeky, the assumption is that she's desperate and kinky.  Kelly related a story to me about the con last year when a guy about half her age was trying to get into her pants because of her geek tendencies.  Apparently, according to her, all social morays vanish and guys lose their filter when they're around geeky women.  I don't know if this is true or not since I'm not regularly around geeky women.

Which brings me to my point.  While a lot of the geek culture has gone mainstream to a point, the Transformers fandom is still pretty much on the fringes.  If I tell someone I'm into Star Wars or Star Trek or even Dr. Who, they'll want to have a three hour conversation about it.  I'm not into Dr. Who, just so you know.  Anyway, when I tell them that I'm really into Transformers, I usually get a stare and a derisive "you mean those robots that turn into cars?"  And since we're on the edges of the culture, should we really be alienating fellow collectors simply because they're a different gender?  A fandom is only strong unless everyone within that fandom is allowed to speak their opinions and add their point of view.  Giving a fellow fan unwanted advances simply because she posted a picture isn't the way to strengthen the fandom, only the way to weaken it.